So after we managed to survive the most ridiculous train trip ever (barely), somehow survived the confusion of the closed offices/coin-only ticket machines/killer lines at the train station and navigated our way to the hostel we were about to collapse. We threw our bags down and found some food at a restaurant that was literally at the doorstep of the hostel, and then retired for the evening, so we would be ready to face the day tomorrow (after stumbling around for what felt like a year to find a bottle of water)(but that’s probably the fever talking).

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As Roisin was starting to feel better but I was feeling worse, we were really half a team for our time in Prague, but we still tried to make the most of our time in this beautiful city! Our first day in the Golden City, the City of a Thousand Spires, we decided (as we have done in a lot of the cities so far) to have a solid orientation with a Sandermans tour. Our guide was a hoot. She started by regaling us with stories about herself, her family and their past to help make the history a bit more relatable and perhaps even a bit easier to understand. She explained how she was a “true Czechoslovakian” as her family was a real melting pot of both sides as well as having lived in both countries throughout her life. She was bubbly and enthusiastic and although she was a bit all-over-the-shop, I quite liked the energy she brought to the tour. As she walked us past the Old Town Square, the Astronomical Clock, the Charles Bridge, the Church of Our Lady before Týn, the Old New Synagogue, the Old Jewish Quarter, Wenceslas Square, the Opera house and much more she also walked us through well over 1,000 years of history. We heard tales about the Good King Wenceslas, Jan Palach – the young man who lit himself on fire as a protest to the oppressions of communism, the much loved King Charles the 4th, some of David Cerny’s most “talked about” pieces and the Golem that still roams around the attic of the Synagogue. She also told us some stories that were a bit more out of the ordinary such as how most churches in Prague have been repurposed (into museums, dance clubs and even strip clubs) because only about 11% of the population attend religious ceremonies and that on Easter Monday, the tradition is that the women give the men a hand-painted egg and alcohol while the men whip the women (weird). My favourite story however was about the origin of the Astronomical Clock. The designer/clockmaster Hanus, also called Jan of Ruze, was rumoured to be designing an even better clock for another city in Europe. When Prague Councillors found this out, they became jealous and blinded him so he could not finish it. Later he allegedly damaged the astronomical clock in revenge, and nobody was able to repair it. Mostly this was my favourite story as Max ruined the ending, surmising that this was in fact a tall tale, told for centuries, which was meant to be revealed in an impressive way later in the tour. Our tour guide was more than a little embarrassed.

Unfortunately throughout our tour, we started to notice the increasing amount of bumps in our day, or bits, bed bug bites it seemed, to be more precise. Max in particular was finding more every five minutes and was starting to scratch with more vigour, however Roisin had a few as well.

After the tour finished we were all starving and needed to sit down and recuperate. We found a great little cafe and with the help of quinoa, pumpkin soup and a salad with all kinds of “super foods” we managed to build up enough strength and enthusiasm to tackle our next tour of the day – the Prague Castle Tour. While we were waiting to be divided into groups and allocated a guide, a very drunk/confused/rude (I promise it was very difficult to tell and hard not to speculate) man started walking or stumbling slowly into the middle of our group and then appeared to fall onto/grab at one of the guides backpacks and then tried to run away still clutching onto him at the bag. The other guides started yelling and him and he let go and wandered away. It was just odd really. After all the guides collected themselves they turned to us, laughed, and said “Now everyone, that’s a real life example of why we like to remind you to watch your bags while walking around Prague”.

Our guide for this tour was David, and its fair to say we pretty much loved him right off the bat! He was engaging and charismatic and clearly had nothing but love for the city that he now calls home (originally from America). We did not waste any time, jumping straight on a tram that would take us directly up to the Castle. It is fair to say that Prague Castle dominates both the skyline and the history of the Czech capital. After we were through the minimal security and inside the Castle grounds, you could see why this, the world’s largest medieval castle (according to the Guinness World Records: 570m long, an average of 128m wide and covering a total area bigger than seven football fields), continues to awe, inspire and draw crowds with its dozens of hidden corners, historic buildings, museums, galleries and surprises. Looking at parts on the area separately, you could think as a whole it would be a bit of an eyesore with all the contrasting styles from generations of architects beginning in the 9th century, however the products is remarkably harmonious.

David told us stories about how the large square (II square) is a popular place for movies sets, however rarely for films set in Prague. It has been transformed into London, Paris and even Moscow. Some films he mentioned were Van Helsing, The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen, The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian, Dungeons and Dragons and Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol. Although I would love to, I cannot remember specifically what they paid to use the square. However I’m sure David said that it was in the millions for a day, specifically for a scene in Mission Impossible which mostly involved Tom Cruise walking across the square. We took great pleasure the next time we crossed this million dollar square. David also told us interesting stories about the Czech president (as well as the embarrassment quite a few Czech people feel in regards to his antics, for example stealing a jewel encrusted pen in front of a room full of cameras and reports) and his residence.

After our stroll through the square, we found ourselves gawking up at St. Vitus Cathedral, a majestic Gothic masterpiece which took centuries to finish. Its many treasures included a 14th-century mosaic above the Golden Gate, the ornate Chapel of St Wenceslas, the baroque organ, the art nouveau stained glass which caused the light to stream into the Cathedral in a beautiful array of colours and the Bohemian crown jewels (kept securely in a chapel locked with seven locks). The church itself is another example of contrasting styles/eras of craftsmanship. The western facade looks impressively gothic, but the doorway dates only from 1953, the foundation stone was laid in 1344, renaissance and baroque details were added over the following centuries, and it was not until 1861 that a concerted effort was made to finish the cathedral. It is a symbol of pride for the Czech Republic, not only because of its grandiose and stunning architecture but also because of the amount of time and work it required to become the breathtaking building it is today.

Germ-lock against Max’s bed bugs

We moved further into the Castle district as David told us more stories about the history of the culminating in the 20th century with the forgotten genius of Jože Plečnik. He really brought to life the legendary court of Rudolf II, the nightmares of Kafka and the very real struggles of the Velvet Revolution. Max’s favourite part of the tour seemed to be playing a game with David where she would try to find the five stars that were hidden around the Castle that were similar to the ones we saw on the statue of Saint John of Nepomuk on Charles Bridge (which David said he usually reserves for when he has children on his tour).   Our last stop inside the castle district was the Golden Lane, an alley which runs along the northern wall of the castle. Its tiny and colourful cottages were built in the 16th century for the sharpshooters of the castle guard, but were later used by goldsmiths and then by artists, including writer Franz Kafka. It was so picturesque, but was absolutely littered with people because it had just turned 5pm meaning entrance was free, so we decided to come back after the tour finished to have our own little photoshoot. We finally wandered beyond the castle gates through picturesque Hradčany to see the best views of the city.

Here are a few “happy snaps” from our photoshoot as we wandered back through the Castle.

After our exploring we sat for a while in Wenceslas’ Vineyard, between the southern slope between the support wall of the Old Castle Stairs and the upper scenic overlook ledge path, where we enjoyed the terrific views, home made chips and some of the most delicious wine – burčák (a fizzy, sweet, pale-yellow, partially fermented wine). We headed back down to the old town square to have some dinner which was nice but very weird portion sizes. Rosh and I enjoyed a very delicious 4 pieces of pasta.

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This morning after a bit of a sleep in, we started by dropping off some washing, thrilling! Next step was an adventure to find some delicious coffee (for Sinéad and Rosh) and headed to EMA Espresso Bar. It was a great little place with a fun vibe going from super busy to empty and back within ten minutes. It was filled with a wide range of people from foodies, bloggers, foreign hipsters to curious travellers like us, families and business men. The girls reported the coffee was delicious and then we were on our way. We strolled around some of the streets of Prague we had not yet explored, loving the maze of cobbled lanes and hidden courtyards that beckon you to explore a little further. After marvelling at the Powder Tower, we ventured towards Charles Bridge and found a tiny little gingerbread store along the way and couldn’t resist the smell and ended up buying a little Gingerbread man to munch on along the way.

Our main plan for the day was to seek out just a few of the abundance of statues found in Prague. Some are symbolic, some are contemporary or abstract and some even date back to the communist era but the ones we wanted to find are simply odd and leave you thinking…what on earth?! The first one we found was ‘Piss’ (yes, this is the actual name of the sculpture). On a small plaza where the Kafka Museum is situated, one can see two men peeing into a bronze basin in the shape of the Czech Republic (so the men appear to be urinating into the country). Controversial or just amazing? What was also cool is that visitors can interrupt them peeing by sending a text to a number, and the living statue then moves and ‘writes’ the text of the message, before carrying on as before. So. Weird.

Before we headed to our next statue, we needed to grab some lunch. After wandering around aimlessly, being unable to either find, or decide on a restaurant, we eventually found ourselves a riverside restaurant. The service was subpar and the food was a little bit odd (I had an actual slab of risotto) but the view was stunning.

Our next stop was to find the Giant Alien Bronze Babies located in the beautiful Kampa Park. This didn’t end up being a very difficult feat as these giant babies sure do stand out as well as being more than a little bit creepy with their smushed mechanical faces. Lastly we headed to the John Lennon wall, where an image of Lennon was painted along with political graffiti and Beatles lyrics after his murder as Lennon became a pacifist hero for many young Czechs. With a guitarist playing in the background we walked up and down the wall, taking in the Lennon images, peace messages and inconsequential tourist graffiti.

We needed to run back to the laundromat in order to pick up the laundry (the lady in the laundromat seemed a bit like she might throw the clothes in the river if we were not back at precisely 4pm) and then went to have a rest. Dinner tonight we went to a vegetarian restaurant and enjoyed some delicious food before crashing for the night.

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Today was going to be a great day – Sinéad’s birthday! We tried to leave the entire day up to her, but as she was happy to do most anything, it actually made it a bit tricky to spoil her and do everything that she wanted to (the silly thing). We awoke and yelled many happy birthday wishes up to her bunk (our random room-mate joined in too). The first thing she wanted to do was go back to EMA Espresso Bar for another coffee and I enjoyed a delicious juice. We then headed off to get her a train ticket for tomorrow so that we don’t almost leave her at the train station like last time. We had a lovely morning strolling through unexpected gardens, past cute cafes, ancient chapels and old-fashioned bars until we found a pub for lunch where we ate delicious burgers and nachos. After piles of food and beer we were walking around, trying to decide what to do next when we stumbled across the Prague Sex Toy Museum and decided it would be a bit of a laugh to check it out. It was so bizarre!! Apparently it was the first museum in the world devoted to sexual gadgets with three floors housing more than 200 objects and mechanical appliances on display. The weirdest part by far was the cinema with old erotic films, where we sat perplexed and amused, wondering whether or not it was appropriate to giggle, especially at the weird elevator/circus music that was playing in the background. After we were thoroughly bamboozled, Max and I retired for a small siesta while Rosh and Sinéad went birthday shopping. We re-grouped for a special birthday dinner and headed off to Estrella, a unique vegetarian restaurant. Fortunately we secured a table (only because someone was leaving just as we arrived) and settled in. Our waitress was absolutely adorable, very attentive, caring about our choices and gave us free appetisers. Unfortunately I ordered a very spicy soup and couldn’t eat any of it, but everyone else’s food, as well as the wine, was delicious. It was a lovely evening filled with stories and laughter and afterwards Max and Sinéad went out for a drink or three while Rosh and I headed home to ensure we continued to get better.

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Despite being unwell, it was still a lovely time in Prague, with its romantic streets, soaring towers, 14th-century stone bridge, a hilltop castle, great beer/wine and a lovely, lazy river! Prague’s diverse history – from the heart of medieval Bohemia, the capital of the Holy Roman Empire and the oppression, under both the Nazis and the Communists – really makes it a captivating city. Throwing a bit of their wit and weirdness into the mix with their odd statues and a 1950s nuclear bunker hidden beneath a city-centre hotel, I look forward to coming back at some point to explore their award winning Christmas markets!